Out of place everywhere, at home nowhere

When I left Iran with just two pieces of luggage, my entire life fit into those bags. For the first two years, I had no home, no belongings; just what I could carry. It wasn’t until my second year on this continent that I was finally able to secure a safe room and a roof over my head. That’s when I bought my first possession here: a mattress.

Even now, I don’t own much. My life has always changed in the blink of an eye, and I try to live in a way that everything I have could fit into two suitcases. My heart is my biggest belonging, and, true to my Leo Moon, I can say that openly.

Since the moment I was born, life’s impermanence, its dark, wandering nature, has been my constant companion. Feeling out of place, alienated, and untethered, it has always been with me. And in time, I’ve come to understand that this is not a flaw, but my destiny and soul path as this Persian woman in this lifetime.

Astrologically, Mars, Mercury, and Venus sit in Aquarius in the 8th house in my chart, with Saturn, the ruler, in the 9th house in Pisces. Exile, wandering, and embracing my unconventional identity as a Hellenistic astrologer is not just my reality; it is my destiny. Feeling out of place is not an accident; it is the blueprint of my soul.

As a hypnotherapist, I’ve also been on the other side, visiting past lifetimes as a client and trying to understand where I belong. Once, a hypnotherapist told me, “If you see yourself as a soul that is not of this world, you’ll feel better.” And you know what? He was right.

My name is Shahrzad. I am a soul having this human experience; out of place everywhere, and at home nowhere. My body is my home. This human experience is my home. Feeling alienated, wandering, and unique is my path, my destiny, and ultimately, my freedom.

“I am not from here and there, my soul is from elsewhere, and I intend to end up there.”

Rumi